Abuse

**Warning Sensitive Content** View the Audio Slideshow

Go Back to – Face It!

“Far too often have I heard these words echoed by abused women. And far to often nothing is done save a repetition of these words. Abuse can be verbal, physical, emotional or sexual. All scar for life. The causes for abuse fill a long list, but the reasons why one should silently put up with it should never pass the first line.

It is the nature of an abuser to ‘brainwash’ their victims. This can take the form of criticism, humiliation, and undermining of self-esteem to create a person who is powerless, fearful, and dependant on the abuser. Once this mindset has been achieved the abuser can manipulate just about any situation to make the abused feel that she is deserving of the abuse, or can create a cycle whereby the incident is undermined and quickly forgotten, only for it to occur again shortly afterwards. This form of brainwashing is also the creation of a self-inflicted stigma. Some feel guilty for what has been inflicted upon them and are embarrassed to open up about it. In many cases of sexual abuse one feels like they have taken part in a ‘dirty’ act and hence feel disgraced. These feelings are actually an inflicted stigma and another control tool for the abuser.The worse the abused feels about themselves, the less chance there is of them speaking out about the atrocities being committed, and hence the longer the abuser can get away with these atrocities.

Children who are abused are more prone to self-destructive behaviour, health and mental problems, anxiety, depression, and problems with intimate relationships later in life. The impact of the abuse can be dramatically increased by a parent’s neglect to respond to the abuse. Common practise is for a parent to protect or side with the abusing parent. Even if a child is not abused personally, growing up in an environment where they are witness to abuse is sufficient to influence their behaviour in life in a destructive way.

Child abuse is a breeding ground for future abusers. It is the duty of parents, however difficult, to recognise and not fall victim to the brainwashing abusers inflict, to ensure a safe environment for the well being of themselves and their children.